Italy, Fabio, wood wasps, mosquitos and weddings

It’s late and as per usual I cannot sleep. What else would a girl do but blog about things that have happened?

Well, here is the latest update since my last post that happened ages ago because I procrastinated, then thought it was pointless, then thought it was worthless to update because nothing interesting happens in my life, and now I’m updating for unknown reasons. Long sentence there. I ran out of breath in my head too.

I have been travelling like a mad person. I went to Bulgaria for my sister’s bachelorette party and oodles of fun. She had no idea where we were headed even though it was made quite apparent a few times, but my sister is known as ”space cadett” so she zones out into her own world and forgets that there are other people trying to reach out to her. You have to call her name repeatedly (and sometimes yell) to get her attention, then she laughs and says ”Oh I’m such a space cadett.” Yes, yes you are sis, but I love you none the less.

Then we went to Italy for said space cadett’s wedding. It was sunny and kinda warm, although considering it is Italy I thought it would be warmer, but turns out, nope. The place was beautiful, the people absolutely wonderful, the driving absolutely bizarre and the food was spectacular.

And then we have the bugs. Seriously, you walk outside for a few minutes every day and you will see lots of bugs. But the best part is, you will never see the same species of bug. And if you do, they are either dead or dying or stuck to the wall or flying straight for you in attempt to recreate kamikaze pilots.

Just like the Italians, the bugs are very friendly. They always try to introduce themselves but their ways may be seen as slightly imposing to most people. The most notable examples were the mosquitos and the wood wasps.

Now the mosquitos were very kind but quite loud, buzzing by your ears in order to introduce themselves, but this mostly happened at night and got quite disturbing because someone who is introducing themself to you while you are trying to sleep and whispering their name in your ear is creepy. Or well, creepy to me at least, what do I know? Some of you might introduce yourselves that way to others.

The woods wasps are more direct, as boyfriend experienced. Now it may have been the case that the wood wasp was slightly drunk, but his introduction was incredibly direct and straight to his neck. Because it may have been trying to whisper his name in his ear, but missed entirely and went for his neck instead. I got the second greeting, a bashing of the head against my palm, and then the wood wasp took a hard landing against the table. Or well it attempted to fly and then landed on the table. I did not bash it on the table.

Sadly none of us got the name of the wasp over the amount of screaming we made, which may be the reason the little fellow decided we where way too loud and flew away and decided to climb up the wall like spider man. Or well in his case it would be spider wasp. Or climbing wasp. Wall wasp. Screw it, wasp-that-climbs.walls.

Hmmm… if I had to name him I think it would be Marvin. Oh wait, hang on this is an Italian wasp we’re talking about, better guess his name was Fabio. Or perhaps it was a lady wood wasp? A waspina? Maybe her name was Fabiotinna? Hmmm…

The wedding was nice, the priest was good, the singing I had to do was awful but I have been assured that I am forgiven by my new family as they wept openly in front of me. I’m not sure that is forgiveness or not, I think they may just be very disappointed instead but are to shy to admit I sing like haggis. If haggis could sing that is. Lots and lots of food and wine and children running about and people falling over and dancing and falling over while dancing and being very hung over the next day.

And now I am back in Sweden to cause disappointment and discord for all the people that surround me. I have started casting the sims 4 with kaktus and we are having an awesome time creating the strangest families and neighbourhoods in all of simland. (Is it called simland? I have no idea, kaktus knows more about the sims than me, that’s why we’re casting the sims in the first place.)

Well, I think an update was long over due, I have to go pretend that I can have a normal sleep cycle like most humans, but I think I may end up sitting upside down on the couch, thinking of books that I should read and all other responsibilities that I haven’t taken and feel absolutely crap about not doing. Not that I’m gonna do them now it’s too late, but I can feel bad and pretend that my shame compass is still in tact.

Good night my lovely unicorns, and as said at the end of the cast, ”eat a snail!”. (Although I’m not sure I would be capable of doing that, snails are lovely but I don’t think they are meant to be eaten. No offence to anyone from France. Or people who think eating snails is nice.) Night!