I haven’t slept well for 2 weeks. Neither have a lot of other people. And things just haven’t been working out at all! Communicating with other people has just been non functional, misunderstandings have happened at every turn and anger has shown it’s ugly face in the people I love the most (and some people I hate, but they always have ugly faces so I see no difference there), turning them into the worst versions of themselves (again, unless I hate them. Then they are already the worst part of themselves to me).
I am certainly not an exception.
So how come all of this seems to have shown up now? Did someone say (imagine a posh British accent if you will):
”Well the world seems to be having a wonderfully splendid time with all sorts of different people getting along. I know! Let’s FUCK SHIT UP!”
Or, quite possibly:
”The balance is fine right now. Let’s see what happens when it’s not!”
(Now stop imagining that posh British accent, unless you have a posh British accent, then keep on going.)
It’s like waking up in the morning and finding out that the floor is suddenly the ceiling and you notice that something is off and that it most definitely should be that way, but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. What is being balanced out and why does it take so long for it to balance out? I am sure certain situations will not get better, and they are pretty bad at the moment. Does that mean that there is balance and it’s supposed to be as bad as it is, or does it mean that the balance in certain places aren’t that good and therefore the entire world must be punished?
And then yesterday I heard a theory.
Now usually theories are OK, because if you don’t like them, just make fun of them and ignore them even though sometimes a small voice at the back of you head may be hoping or even dreading that part of it may be true. But the cause to all the balance and misunderstanding and just general unkindness was:
According to an e-mail that a friend of mine got, these storms have been affecting the entire world, and succeeding in pestering the population by giving them headaches, migraines and the power of taking offence (more than is necessary). After a long discussion I had it explained to me that the storms where on a scale of 6, but that doesn’t tell me much, since I don’t know the entire scale. If it’s 6/10, sure pretty bad. 6/6 is even worse. But 6/100 probably isn’t so bad (but also gives me dread that if it ever reached those numbers the last part of the bible wasn’t just some man’s hallucinations and we’d all be fucked).
Oh and if you took offence to the mention that the last part of the Bible were hallucinations, it says so in my bible, I have talked to several other people in the profession of priesthood that have all confirmed it to me. Yes, the guy was totally seeing things. And not in the profetic way (shhh.. I’m imagining it all in my head and it’s really fucking scary, that’s why I’m denying it), but in the kind of ”I-saw-the-statue-dancing-the-rumba-because-I-have-a-fever” kind of way. (If you haven’t experienced these type of hallucinations you should be proud, they can quite unpleasant. I kept on seeing a cat at the foot of my bed, then a witch leaning over my bed (that still gives me the creeps when I think about it) and a samurai for some absurd reason.)
Anyhow. It wasn’t really an answer. And that’s when I understood it. I suddenly became enlightened. It was something to blame shit on, because we (most humans that is) need something to blame shit on.I know I have to everything blame it on something, otherwise I just feel terrible about myself as a human being.
Sick? Answer: Because I had an open jacket and it was very windy, therefore a process later, you are sick.
Can’t sleep? Answer: Because you haven’t been going to bed at the right times and now your internal clock is all wonky.
Depressed? Answer: a) The chemicals in your brain aren’t working correctly. b) Something really shitty has happened in your life and therefore you feel like shit.
But how come we need to blame it on something to make ourselves feel better, when really we can say, ”Well, at the moment I feel like shit. That’s OK, I will let it pass a few days until I feel better.”
…unless of course it doesn’t and then you should seek professional help.
And still I am up, writing this after not having slept much at all and trying to stay awake in order to fix the internal clock. I have a slight feeling that this is going to take time.
But if it’s any consolation, they have mentioned that the electrical storms should be over soon, meaning that everything should return to normal. Or at least as normal as it was before, unless one country has bombed another country. Then we are all fucked.