…I suck at titles.

I must admit that I like seeing the creativity that other people have. Especially on Twitter and Instagram. On the 6th of June, a person on that I follow posted this:

”7am waking up in the morning gotta be fresh gonna throw myself down the stairs.”

As you may or may not know, the original lyrics are by Rebecca Black and her song ”Friday”, the nauseating song that makes my blood turn to acid and burn every organ on the way to the heart, in order to burn me again but not destroy the heart so I can feel the searing pain.

But for some reason when I saw this post I laughed for about 30 minutes straight, and I’m not kidding. Every person that I have shown this to has laughed a little bit, not finding it funny, while I am smashing my head on the table and breaking my nose in attempt to stop laughing.

I am still studying the psychological aspects behind this marvel (well, I will, once I have stopped laughing) but there must be something about the way I read things and see them in my head. An overimaginitive me sees a person putting on make up carefully and getting ready and looking pretty for a school day. Suddenly she sees stairs and goes ”Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” and throws herself down them and breaks her neck.

And for some reason this gets me every time, the extremely morbid picture my head comes up with that leaves me laughing for ages! … my humour is cruel and dry… and not very funny.

But I’m still laughing.

This cannot bode well.


Not a poem

It rained today. With lots of thunder and lightning. Now that the Norse deity Thor is so popular we can all guess that he’s angry and that’s why there is thunder and lightning. Or something.

I dunno, when I was little I used to think that God was angry and that rain was his way of punishing us by peeing on us… don’t ask me where I got the idea from. I started reading some books about Norse mythology (Thor) with my mother, then greek (Zeus), then asian(Japanese: Raijin (yes, like Naruto) Chinese:Lei Gong), then egyptian (Seth). The more I read the more I wondered which one was right.

Have you ever wondered why people turn so poetic when it rains? Suddenly everyone has the soul of some troubled master of poetry, writing about dark emotions and wanting to meet other people and life and other mysteries I don’t bother trying to understand. It just leads to confusion.

I once tried turning into a poet when it was raining. It had terrible consequences. Seriously, the poem went something like this:

Rain, rain, rain…

rain is all I see.

Thunder and lightning…

fuck off, you don’t fucking scare me.


No wonder my grades in english were always terrible, I failed at every poem I ever wrote! My poetic and other artsy fartsy sides should be taken out behind the chemical sheds and shot and burried and never be talked about again.

I have also turned 24.

I have no idea where I was going with that one. I just wanted to say it out loud. It still makes no sense to me, my brain is many different ages depending on how I wake up. Today it decided to be 12.

I’m gonna go drink lots of soda now. Bye.



I am out of ideas. I am depleted after having written angrily. So I played Assassins Creed 2 for a while… I kept on dying so I gave up and went to fix my hair instead. It took ages, but at least I’m bored with the results. Unfortunately I couldn’t get my contacts to get into my eyes so now it looks like I’ve been bathing in an over chlorinated pool. Eyes are completely red.

Other than that, on Friday I was singing. They started the ceremony 10 minutes earlier, so our song was cut down, but that was OK since we managed to sing the entire song at the end. And some people seemed to like it. I don’t know, my emotions went from ”fine” to ”I hate you” to ”I hope you all die in a gas explosion” to ”fine” again… and that was just the first 5 minutes. But now I don’t want anyone to die in a gas explosion, and I don’t hate them. My brain just wants to threaten everyone that it sees through my eyes because it’s a form of entertainment… and because it was feeling betrayed.

It’s funny how the tiniest little action, or word can flip you upside down in my world. It doesn’t even depend on the day! Oh well, I suppose it will just have to be taken care of in some other manner.

For the first time since.. I don’t know how long, I feel level. Nothing is good, nothing is bad, everything is just… OK. Dull. Boring. I look outside my window, there’s light, there are people on the street. Boring.

Ambulances and police cars and fire trucks wail their sirens loudly for us to hear there is certain devastation going on somewhere. Someone is either dying, or in need of rescue, and it’s all… dull and boring.

I hate these kinds of days, they aren’t productive, they make me want to crawl under the bed with a blanket and stay there until my brain decides it’s a good idea to come out, although I know I shouldn’t. Not even that I shouldn’t, it’s that I can’t. Everyone around me is trying to make me do things, activate myself, be happy, smile, eat, dance, laugh, sing, run, watch movies, hang out, drink… there is so much going on in a blur and yet nothing excites me. I bet if I went bungee jumping I would still be bored. I hope this doesn’t last too long, I have shit to do.

Saturday was spent in bed, slowly realizing that my mood is going to the deepest pit of hell. Today we’re going to the movies, that’ll be kinda fun at least. Unless it’s boring. Then it’s gonna be boring. And I’ll be asked if I’m fine a million times and if I liked the movie. That’s fine. I’ll smile and say ”yeah”…. Or something. Who knows, I might become uplifted after watching it. I’m hoping almost desperately.

”A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ”Hey buddy! Why the long face?” The horse doesn’t understand English so it shits on the floor and leaves.”

…nope. Nothing. Nada. Nichts. Nö. Nein.

That joke usually cheers me up. But not this time. Oh well. I’ll just go lick a frog or talk to a cricket or something and hope for better days.